This is and interesting question that I’ve been posing to myself a lot lately.

Being in the seminars and training business, I get to meet a lot of speakers and trainers from all around the world and I get to meet major seminar organisers whom share stories of what really happens "inside" the world of self-help seminars.

Well, the truth is… the seminars industry is the same as most other industries, we’ve got the good, bad and the ugly. I’ve got the privilege of meeting great speakers and I’ve also had the opportunity to meet some really crappy ones.

But here’s the reflection / lesson that I wanna share here. Many times, I observe the people in this industry saying: "You gotta fake it till you make it" or "Personal branding and Positioning increases your stick-ability factor". I must say that such statements are all true and I’ve seen people who use such mindsets and build themselves into successful individuals.

I also observe that certain speakers become "gurus" not really because they "made it big" using the techniques they preach but rather they became "gurus" because they created a system of teaching and then branded themselves as an expert in that field. Here’s the thing though… All of these speakers resonate an aura of confidence that attracts people to them. In other words, they have been granted with a lot of "Power of Influence".

Spider-man’s uncle Ben mentioned that "With Great Power comes Great Responsibility"… so my question here is: "Do all these speakers know the responsibility that comes with this Power?" Cos many of the people who buy in to what these speakers sell, devote a lot of hard earned money, time and heart into the "possible" dream.

What I’m alluding to here is a type of individual who resonates confidence and persuasion power, an individual who has the ability to make you salivate over his product or service and then influence you to part with your hard earned money or even cause you to take that risk on your credit card.

So how to you differentiate between the authentic teacher / speaker and the one that is not?

You can see their intentions. The authentic one has got follow up programmes and local support, plus a team of support staff, who will be willing to hand-hold you through the learning process. (Tip: Observe the team… They are usually happy and relaxed, congruent and harmonious when interacting with the speaker.)

Of course, the price is also reasonable. What is reasonable? You decide cos every product / service if different. The truth here is "They are interested in You!" and they genuinely want you to be successful using their teachings because they became successful walking their talk.

As for the unauthentic ones, usually they just want your money. They’ll try to sell you their courses and "get rich quick" schemes and here’s the thing. Follow up usually sucks with these kinds of speakers and delivery is lousy.

How to test them? Sometimes it is tough because they’ve got such good "packaging". However, you can recognise this individual by his "caught up with making Big money fast!" mindset, rather than providing value and maintaining a long term relationship.

My conclusion here is simple. Buyers Beware! There’s a Chinese proverb that says: "Waves do not happen without Wind". So if you do find some bad press about a speaker, investigate further before signing up for his programme. You are able to sniff out his sincerity. Truly authentic and sincere speakers have your welfare at heart and seeks a win-win between teacher and student and they are nurturing in nature.

I guess… to answer the original question, when you see confidence become cocky-ness in a speaker / teacher, it is not about you anymore. It is about him and that is an indication that he’s just not that into you.

There are always 3 choices when faced with a tough decision though:

Accept It. If you can’t accept it…

Change It. If you can’t change it…

Leave it.

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